A Review (and some musings) of Thursday Night Burlesque

When a friend comes to NYC on a visit, and it's a Thursday night, what do you do?  Now, of course, there is always something to do in NYC, but finding that thing can be difficult.  What do you look for?  Theatre? Music? Secret Bar?  

Yes, all these things exist, and yes they can be amazing; but more often than not, you just find yourself wandering the city streets and showing your friend how "big it is" here or shudder  you wander through Times Square.  You can find amazing Theatre, but the little known secret of NYC is that most Theatre is terrible.  The caveat to that rule, is that when the Theatre is good it is INCREDIBLE.  Music can be very fun, but difficult to find besides the "same old places" and once again you face the problem of it having a high rate of being unimpressive.  Secret bars are often fun, but the expense is often very detrimental.  

Plus getting drunk on a Thursday night, may not be your cup of tea. (I did, but that was because I was out with a sailor, and he put me to shame.  I hurt myself badly.  #GoNavy)

So what do you do?  Luckily I've been privy to the growing world of amazing NYC Burlesque!  Friends come to town?  Want to see people having fun performing and taking their clothes off?  Bingo.

Thursday night tops it all in this particular type of entertainment because of the fantastic "Spanking the Lower East Side" at Nurse Bettie.

Seriously, look at this place...

I discovered this particular show when a friend came to town on a whim.  It turned out great!  The drinks are priced right, and the show is free.

I repeat: The Show is FREE.

You get to see fantastic performances (and boobs) for nothing.

Where else are you going to find that in NYC? #fugetaboutit

Of course buying drinks from the bar, of which the bartenders are very good with buyback and random shots being handed to you, and TIPPING THE PERFORMERS is very encouraged.  You can even tip to motorboat.  What strip club would ever let you do that? 

The first night I went, the show as hosted by Calamity Chang, and the night was full of huge variety.  Some classically styled performances all the way to intense leather with drum&bass.  That last being a bit much for yours truly, but to each their own.

@BroadwayBrassy

This past Thursday the night was hosted by Broadway Brassy, , the "golden throat" if burlesque.  Her reasoning for being called the golden throat was interesting, and explicit; but I have a feeling it is because she sings rather well. .. ahem.  She was an excellent host with the perfect energy and style to match the room and high caliber of performers.

Oh right, I guess I should say, if you are not entertained by light hearted sexual humor, gender equality, and purposefully poor taste jokes; a burlesque hall may not be for you.

But if you like cutting loose, classy performance, and girls actually smiling and having fun; then this is for you.

 *Warning, I'm about to go on a tangent*

To be serious, the "pornographication" of our sexuality has had some detriments.  People are getting more shameful of their sexual nature.  People are hiding their desires more.  Humans are sexual beings.  It's natural to want to procreate, and most of us (there are some a-sexual humans out there, don't worry that's fine too) really enjoy sex.  But how often do you see people smiling or laughing in porn?  Especially "professional" porn.  You may find voyeuristic people having a good time in amateur videos, but those are few and far between.   Also porn mostly shows a world of sexual inequality, which we shouldn't be promoting.

Burlesque on the other hand is almost wholesome... well maybe not wholesome, but so amazing.

Both men and women perform burlesque, so you have gender equality.  Yes more women perform, but that is also encouraging.  Burlesque performers choreograph their performances.  Create elaborate costumes.  Invent scenarios. And definitely have a good time doing their thing. It's a female dominated industry. You won't see the dead eyes and boredom of a strip club, the cold clammy atmosphere, and the general shady building with burlesque.  The bar is rowdy.  People cheer! Whistle! and Clap! This is not explicit objectification any more than ballet or opera.  It's a show! 

Also, unlike strip clubs, the performers are never naked.  Pasties are a standard and genitals are not flashed or encouraged to be so.  It's classy people. 

Another great equality is body type.  Strip clubs generally follow a "social norm" of what is sexy.  Which, if you look at it objectively, is incredibly boring. Plus an emphasis on plastic surgery for said given norm is horrible!  I love natural women! Enough of the plastic horror, give me some variety!

 Burlesque does that in SPADES. 

I saw a show with two dudes doing a mirror act strip tease, except that one of the dudes was a little person.  They definitely understood the comedy aspect of Burlesque, and we're both in great shape so they held up that end as well.  If that's not variety, I'm not sure what is.

Every body type is accepted in burlesque, you are judged on how well you move and how creative you are in your performance.  This is epic on so many ways.  Much like food, people have sexual.  Maybe you like curvy girls? Not a problem.  Maybe you like thin girls?  We got that too.  Not much on top, but a lot going on in the back?  You see where Im going here.  It is for everyone.  Variety.  Which also encourages people to explore their own perspective on what they thought was "sexy."   

You can discover something new that you like, interesting ink perhaps?  And maybe find that you didn't particularly care for something, like me and the goth/bondage performance.  Did I still appreciate that performance and hoot and clap? Absolutely.  I can appreciate it for what it was:  A well crafted piece of performance art.  But did it tickle my fancy?  Nope.  I'm more of a classic burlesque kind of guy, which made this Thursday at Nurse Bettie an excellent night for me.

Why did someone make this picture?

*tangent over, Get Back to the Review, Jarrett!*

Dottie Dynamo warmed up the crowd with an excellent curvy Gogo.  I'll get to more about her later, since there is plenty to enjoy.

As I said before Broadway Brassy was our hostess, introducing the girls, and showing off her own skills in giving aural pleasure.  Her rendition of "Do you wanna fuck"  (is there another rendition?) was both charming and vulgar, the odd combination that burlesque seems to thrive on. Then she introduced the first act Hazel Honeysuckle 

And boy did the night . . . take off. 

@hazelhoneynyc

Hazel,  of whom I had heard about from the excellent girls of Nerd-lesque, was as incredible.  She wore a 1920s styled red sequined dress with a matching red feather adorned  flapper hat.  She teases the audience with her eyes and while using her teeth to pull off one long white satin glove.  Wow.  She is tall and thin with gorgeous dark hair.  Her reveal was quite surprising, as the dress was tight on her hips, it didn't broadcast what was in store for us.  Those surprising curves finished with a skilled twirl that left the audience open mouthed, panting, and wanting more.

@atMaine

 Next up was The Maine Attraction wearing a frilly gold number that complimented her caramel skin like a candy wrapper.  Something that drew my attention was her hair.  It was a 1950s inspired cut with prominent poofy bangs.  I don't know how she did it, but I was soon distracted by her charms. A more modern and erotic dance than Hazel, but that just goes with the variety of Burlesque.  Very nice.  She also did the midshow Go Go and stalled for time by performing an impromptu comedy routine.  Stalling is often awkward, but The Maine Attraction handled it with skill and very smartly asked if it was anyone's birthday.  To which we all sang, and then she prompted us to sing the Black Happy Birthday song.  Sadly to say, only TMA and the door man knew exactly what she was talking about; which lead to good humor at the sad birthday music of the white majority of the bar.

@FrancineD

Finishing up the first half was Francine, The Lucid Dream who killed it with a Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend routine.  I loved her blonde curls(yes I know it was a wig, and no I do not care) and large costume jewelry.  Her routine was high energy and full of sexy fun.

 

Starting up the second act was Broadway Brassy and a crowd involving game of Best Sexy Dance.  The performer in me wanted to volunteer, but my modesty got the best of me.  The two girls from the front that got pulled up on stage had a great attitude.  After watching incredibly sexy & talented women dancing and taking off their clothes with gusto, doing a sexy dance as a 'civilian' as it were, is very intimidating.  The first girl worked her shawl and the second dropped it like it was hot.  I voted for the girl with shawl, but the crowd declared the second to be the winner.  And she one an excellent prize! A free drink at the bar!  And with that we were back to the act.

@DottieDynamo

Up next  was the vivaciously curvy Dottie Dynamo.  Wow. I was quite mesmerized by how she worked it.  I'm pretty sure there were feathers involved.  I have to admit, Dottie really distracted me.  I watched, was enthralled, and cheered. Maybe feather fans or a boa? It didn't matter to me, I was turned on and entertained.  Dottie also killed it at the beginning of the night with her Go Go.  The first Go Go is not easy.  The crowd is cold, not close to drunk, and have just been waiting for things to get going.  She wades through the crowd, climbs up by the window, and starts to shake it.  Some people pay attention, some don't, and that has to be even more intimidating.  Dottie gets the crowd going with unshaken confidence, a talent that only the bravest can hope to attain. 

@_medianoche_

Finishing the night strong was the INCREDIBLE MediaNoche.  She thrilled the audience with a classic 1940s WWII era Nurse act complete with silk gloves instead of latex.  Very sexy.  She blew me away with her smile and charisma.  Her reveal was fantastic with very playful Red Cross pasties.  Also, she may have been the bustiest/perkiest burlesque dancer I've seen live.  I found her act to be quite apropos for my friend who I took out, as he has been in the Navy for 11 years, he got quite a kick out it. Upon leaving the bar he said, "That's it.  I'm never going to a strip club again.  That was awesome!"

So if you are visiting NYC or have lived here your whole life, but never gone out to a Burlesque show.  I highly recommend getting your feet wet with the 'Spanking the Lower East Side' show at Nurse Bettie on Thursday Night.  So far I've been twice and each time it has been outstanding.

Also if you are like me, of the Nerdy-persuasion, you'll die for the awesomeness that is Nerd-lesque.  But first check out Nurse Bettie which also hosts a show on Wednesday night as well!